So, it happened. Your boyfriend – the man you have loved and shared your life with – has gone down on one knee. Whether it was at a party or just the two of you, your life has changed in an instant. You have a whole new word to describe him; he’s your fiance, and your future is glittering before you with the “yes” still on your lips.
You glance down at your hand, to the ring he slid onto your finger as you agreed to be his wife. In the aftermath of the immediate rush of delight, you suddenly see it anew…
… and you don’t like what you see.
Some women avoid this circumstance by being actively involved in the purchase of their wedding ring. However, tradition tends to dictate against this; most proposals take place with the ring already purchased, proffered during the proposal along with the promise of eternal love. The bride-to-be is left with a ring they don’t like, dreaming of Tacori engagement rings and what might have been.
If you find yourself in this situation, it can feel impossible. You can’t make yourself like something, but at the same time, can you go through life wearing something you don’t like? Is it possible to raise the issue without coming across as massively insensitive?
Perhaps. This is a situation that requires a careful analysis of the pros and cons, and then you can decide which course of action might work for you.
Option One: Tell Him (As Sensitively As Possible)
You will eventually get the ring you prefer.
You’re going into marriage knowing that you can be honest with one another.
He may appreciate knowing; a lot of guys buy a ring as a guess and won’t mind being corrected.
You can hurt his feelings when you reject the ring he chose for you.
Option Two: Drop Hints You’re Not Keen
I.e: “It’s not my usual style…” or talk about how it doesn’t fit that well, or the stone is catching on clothing.
You can raise the issue without confronting it head-on.
He might not see them as hints or recognise the issue! This one all depends on how perceptive you feel like your guy is.
Option Three: Try and Live With It
Marriage is all about compromise and making things work. This is the ring he chose for you so, while it would not have been your choice, you can stick it out.
You don’t have to run the risk of upsetting or offending your intended.
You may be able to stifle it now, but what if you bring it up later in a heated argument? It will be more hurtful for him to know he got it wrong and you didn’t bring it up.
You will be wearing something you don’t really love for the rest of your life.
There’s no doubt it’s a thorny issue with no perfect solution, so go by your guy. Is he the kind of guy who could handle a few pointers, or would knowing he had got it wrong be upsetting? Let the answer to that question be your guide.